Death and Glory
Yesterday, I felt so frustrated. Things weren't going my way again, and I really don't want to be this quiet person, evasive from confrontation like every other jerk around. Admittingly, I am an asshole deep down and I like it. I grew up listening to punk rock and breaking the norms. I hate dressing like everyone else. I hate talking like others. I ran away from church at 12 years old cause everyone acted like mindless puppets. I am an individual. What the hell is up with fitting in? That shit sucks so much. You do things you do not want cause you're afraid of standing out, like there is something wrong with who you are. There is nothing wrong.
Ever since dating Taylor, who was a freaking bitch, but convinced myself that I loved her, I had just quieted my inner-self in hopes that I could hold on to the relationship. And of course, the thing you try hardest to keep, you lose it. Even though the relationship was over, the person I had become stayed with me... For YEARS! Only now do I see that this is poison. I don't know why I am so critical of myself, but it's absolute shit. Being afraid of stepping on broken glass is for pussies, and I sure as hell am not one. It's time to walk, and bleed, and fuck and fight!
If I were dying today, I'd regret never being myself as number 1. So now I will live each day like my days are numbered.
But first, I need a nap.
Ever since dating Taylor, who was a freaking bitch, but convinced myself that I loved her, I had just quieted my inner-self in hopes that I could hold on to the relationship. And of course, the thing you try hardest to keep, you lose it. Even though the relationship was over, the person I had become stayed with me... For YEARS! Only now do I see that this is poison. I don't know why I am so critical of myself, but it's absolute shit. Being afraid of stepping on broken glass is for pussies, and I sure as hell am not one. It's time to walk, and bleed, and fuck and fight!
If I were dying today, I'd regret never being myself as number 1. So now I will live each day like my days are numbered.
But first, I need a nap.
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