Yup

There's this type of girl I am looking for. I call her Anima. She appears in my dreams. I've analysed her for so long and realize that the first, she originates from my mother. She also is also a part of the nature that I grew up in in Namibia. She is tough, diverse, her own person and exists without me. She knows I am crazy and wild but allows me to be, but she knows when I need to come home. And she is able to pull me right there. I do so because gives that much of a fuck about me that she knows. She can control me with just her eyes or tone. She's also my physical mate. She's like my mother. I'm just a male figure and as Carl Jung spoke of, that's my Anima. In other news, I know who my friends are and aren't. Sad to say, I don't get along with these fuckers. I know who they are, what they are. I tried to help but I can't. Friendships, that I see too often, destroy me. I like those friends that I see once in a while.

I feel bad for Mostafa cause he's my closest friend and longest friend. I miss him. I'm sorry I haven't been around. I want to try to see him soon.

 Lydia is my first girlfriend and she knows me the best. I love her so much in such a weird way, nothing romantic, but just the person she is is so beautiful. There's really know words I can express for how much I respect this weird, crazy and beautiful woman. She deserves her own book, but I don't have the patience. I wanna see this one happy.

 Jamie, I suck dude, you are a weirdo like me and it's so hard to accept that someone is so similar. I want to do right by you for being a friend through the ages when we should have been enemies. I'm glad to have met you.

 Anne, you are amazing and a tough soul. I miss you so much and the experiences we had together make me wanna cry every time I think about them, but I'm such a bro I can't. I swear that our conversations were always so real and hit who we are/were. It's so rare to find a genuine soul like you. I wish I could be more honest like you. I need to see her soon cause lately I can hear her voice in my head, like when she's sweet, when she's angry, when she's joking, when she laughs. Honestly, she's the one friend that's changed me the most and probably my best friend. She's seen through me. She's stopped my crazy over-drinking in my early 20s. She's called me out for my bullshit. And now I'm a ghost to her. I owe her a lot of my life. I need to do right to her. Of all my friends, I actually think I appreciate her the most.

 Sara, it's both our faults but I love the shit out of you since the day I saw you walking through the halls on the first day of high school. You were the real deal and the perfect image of a woman. You set that in stone for me. Your intelligence and beauty are a rare combination. I wish I tried harder to let you know.

Christi is such a wonderful female. I can't deny her grace and her love of life. She's so cute but so much trouble. She's also a great coordinator of experiences. She loves Britney and loves to dance. Our lives separated way too quickly. I'm too old to quit crying about the last days of college, but every time I see her, I feel like nothing has changed. I hope and pray that we remain the same even after all our fights and stupid religious conversations.

Sebastian, you're white as hell but I miss you too. My mom really likes you. That's enough said you stupid cracker.

I'm running out of vital words but I'll keep going.

Chris, you're a great person and have had so many experiences to share. Thank you for your generosity, if that's how it is spelled. It's hard to go in behind bars and come out an awesome person, but you did it. I appreciate it so much.

Adam, you're wild bro but you also share a unique sense of giving and kindness to people. You're pretty smart and one of the best people I've ever met out of upstate NY. I can't imagine what you went through to become the person you are but I'm glad you are who you are.

Vin, you suck dude, but I love you. You struggle but you still remain a good dude. I get it that no one can count on you but for some strange reason I have hope.

Sean, you're crazy but all-around are the most understanding of us all. I'm happy to see you every time and I hope you continue to share your wisdom to others and I hope, even more, that those sons of bitches take it in.

Rob, thank you for teaching me the way of not giving fucks. Seriously, you saved my life in ways you won't realize. That simple lesson at the 'dam of "I don't care" really made me a different person and happier. I owe you so much that I don't even know how to express.

Tiffany is the most amazing, hottest and fit girl I met. You're crazy but so normal. I wish I could have lived with you longer. I miss your presence so much. I hope to get back to you. You had a big impact on me and taught me how to focus. The lessons of throwing shit away got to you and you learned how to let go. Not many people listen to me, but you did. I honestly love the shit out of you. If I could, I'd marry you on the spot even though you don't date. You're an amazing woman and one of the friends I want to keep for the rest of my life. Thank you for moving in 602.

Sarah, you're still questionable. Too early to tell but you're lovely and give a shit about a fucked up too old kid.

I guess that's my trip down memory lane for now. I prob forgot people but whatever. You weren't in my immediate drunken consciousness so fuck off. I still love you though.